Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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