i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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