In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
