omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
