I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
