i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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