Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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