we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
