How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
is that a dick in a sweater?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
