Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
