if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
