My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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