Non-Jews are for practice
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
