What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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