We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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