There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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