i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
false alarm, still single
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
