morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
