at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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