Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
