sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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