Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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