I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
