I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
