One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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