Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
