i think my mom watched the whole time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
