Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
