Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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