Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
