Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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