as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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