we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
