I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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