wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
