omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
