You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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