so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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