Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
