Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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