I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Couch. On fire.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
