Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
