I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
