well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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