This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
