The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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