umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
