Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
