Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
