Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
