My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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