I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
