Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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