okay pat passed out under dana's car
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
